Pebbles From Paradise

When Guy Bourdin or Helmut Newton were commissioned to photograph fashion, or even make pictures of cars or other machinery, they always managed to inject a sense of the macabre into their work. Of course they’re both dead now which is pretty macabre too!

But when I get summoned to take a photograph of the yachts about to depart from the pier at Amos Restaurant there are no high heels, no top-less honeys, and certainly no nudes to place prominently in the foreground to invigorate the shot.

Mehmet, the King of Customer Focussed Communication, wants a new brochure. It will display to the front a panoramic view of his restaurant and its environs.

On the back will be text composed in both Turkish and English, Germans having eschewed Turkey for fear of the grossly hyped chicken disease, or perhaps because they’re not as well-off as in the past, may not be addressed in Mehmet’s publication?

In my view he is wasting his money, but he would know better having run the place for many more years than I have known it? I guess my gripe is that what he is proposing is so unoriginal, and I doubt that I will be able to persuade him to find some big-nudes to adorn the foregrounds, and make the brochures collectors items.

Not that we don’t have big women here on the estate. Our women, [Irem excluded of course, although she's not a midget, or a stick], are on the whole huge. No doubt it’s all the pide* they eat on holiday?

Lovely, classical women, the kind Peter Paul Rubens, [another dead master], liked to paint ~ ohhhhh . . . . if only I could photograph them naked, save for red stiletto heeled shoes, at Amos Beach Club, what a wonderful new brochure Mehmet could have

Alas:

Ouch!

Kindly note: Guy Bourdin’s photograph, [the good photograph immediately above, not the boring one of 4 yachts], is displayed here as fair use. The Guy Bourdin Retrospective Exhibition is currently in its second year details of its location may be found here. The official website of the Helmut Newton Foundation, which includes his permanent exhibition and that of his art director and photographer wife Alice Springs can be found here.

Also: *Pide is Turkish flat-bread, usually topped with meat, vegetables, or cheese.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 4th, 2006 at 9:57 pm and is filed under Amos, Art and Aesthetics, Food and Drink, Fuji Finepix E900, Language, Marketing, Pastiche, Photography, This Wonderful World. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.