Special Report: The Attempt To Contact Hell From Paradise . .

USS Voyager Raids Birmingham University

Brum Uni 0 – Voyager 1

As I recall working-for-a-living was quite a time-consuming and rarely an edifying business. Never was I so reminded as I was yesterday when I decided to test my new Skype-Out by phoning my little niece at work. I concluded that she must work in Hell!

Initially a robotic woman with a voice resembling that of Angela Rippon told me that my niece wasn’t at her desk, [skived off no doubt, can’t blame her for that given the robotic colleague, she really did sound like a machine! Not a Brummie methinks?]

But then I was most pleasantly impressed to hear dear Lesley’s dulcimer tones in my lug holes. Unfortunately it was not her, but a recording of her, rather like there is no doctor on the USS Voyager but just a hologram.

All too soon dear Lesley was whisked away and replaced by the Rippon robot who said ‘Thank you for using voice tones’, [or keys or some other piffle], ‘leave your message after the tone and press the hash key’. Do I get hash for leaving a message I wondered, but then all too late I realised that my Skype-Out probably doesn’t have a hash key, and why couldn’t Rippon have said the pound sign, like American voice-mails? Not that it is a ‘£’ that they want, it is indeed a ‘#’.

Anyway, any employer whose system is as robotic as the one described certainly isn’t customer focussed. Indeed the Vice-Chancellor would no doubt benefit from a consultation with Mehmet.

3 Responses to “Special Report: The Attempt To Contact Hell From Paradise . .”

  1. Pebbles From Paradise » Blog Archive » Says:

    […] Special Report: The Attempt To Contact Hell From Paradise . . […]

  2. Lesley Says:

    Hey – there isn’t a message on my phone here, so I have no idea what went wrong – skype is way beyond my technological understanding. Try again today if you can, although in the morning if possible as I won’t be around most of the afternoon. I love that picture of the Uni – it may appear in something I’m writing at the moment if you don’t mind?

  3. Stephen Bray Says:

    By all means use my Photoshop collage of voyager knocking out your clock tower ~ it’s a very small jpg though, only 400 x 266 pixels. I’ll try using my Skype phone next week. My love to you, as ever . . . .

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